How’s hell? I know the answer.
So I’ve been through hell but I’m back. It was 2017 when I last posted here and I even thought I’ve deleted this blog when I started my book blog, Lili’s Blissful Pages last year. Thankfully, I didn’t because now, I’m back on posting here.
But before I tell you how’s hell and how I got back, let me tell you first why I left in the first place. Hell came to me in a form of depression. 2017 was the worst year I’ve ever had and hopefully, it stays as the worst. I don’t want to have a year like that ever again. Not only depression almost killed me, it made me stuck. I couldn’t function, no book, no writing ideas could make me move. And if you know me, how much writing and books are part of me, then you’d know this is the worst thing that could ever happen to me.
I was without a purpose, a walking dead. And I wished I were really dead. So I stopped blogging here thinking what would I share? All the negativities in my life? No way. But everything changed dramatically on 2018. I didn’t really know what happened. Did some supernatural being intervene and finally made me get up and get to work? Or maybe it was more like a frustration that made me say ‘Enough is enough’.
“Sometimes, frustration is good because it leads to desperation which makes you realize that you don’t have to wait for a good thing to happen, you do something to make it happen.”
I tried my best crawling just so I can go forward, along with the remaining faith I still have in an invisible and silent God. I started my book blog. I had a great restart. Things, though, didn’t stay great. Not surprising.
Depression didn’t give up on pushing me down. But that’s alright. I wasn’t about to give up on pulling myself up too.
Most importantly I have an Ace, an ally in my God. I knew I wasn’t alone despite God’s silence. And here I am now, alive and well, but not because Hell is done with me. No. I think my stubbornness annoyed hell more. In 2018, I finished an entire novel which I’m currently editing. My book blog and other social media platforms also grew in numbers. I’ve met so many wonderful people last year, though only virtually, they became my real friends and I have proof of this. 🙂
I’m winning and I have a new motto now:
I learned that hell is real even here on earth and I can’t escape it, no matter what form it is in. But I also learned that I can give hell a hard time by not giving up. That’s what I’m still doing.
So how’s hell? It’s still scorching, but I’m also on fire.
I will win.