It’s the Paper’s Fault

Sometimes, it’s the pen’s fault, but there are times, it is the paper’s.

When I was younger, my mother and I always fight over her big mouth. Seriously, she’s too loud, always talking and reprimanding. It’s as if she always sees something wrong to whatever I do. Especially at mornings, my alarm clock was her lectures. Oh how I hated her for that.(don’t judge me)

I didn’t realize then, that it’s not always the pen’s fault.

When we’re mad or hurt, we always think it’s somebody else’s fault. It’s them who has a problem, it was never us. At least that’s what we often think.

I was writing one afternoon. It was an open letter to God. I was using this newly-bought pen that is really expensive for a student. And as I write, the pen kept on pissing me. The ink kept on fading. And every time it does, I would wave the pen a little, and it’ll write again. But it kept doing that. And I knew I must do something if I want to finish the letter.

I thought of using another pen but before I did, I tried using it to a scratch paper. Just to be sure. And the pen writes so well, as well as it should. Looking at my handwriting, something snapped  at me. The paper I was using was a little glossy. Since it was a letter to God, I thought using that paper was just appropriate.

The thing is, that kind of paper wasn’t appropriate to the pen I was using. And I was right. When I changed the paper into a stationery, the pen’s performances changed as well. The ink wasn’t fading anymore.

I realized this; it’s not always the pen’s fault, sometimes, it’s the paper’s.

There are too many kinds of papers. There are plenty types of pens too. But not every pen inks well to all kinds of papers. (Glossy papers are usually the hardest to write on.)

I think, we, people, should learn this lesson: sometimes, it’s OUR fault. Granted, some people really hurt us, wronged us. But before we point our fingers to anyone, before we said something to others, let’s THINK first. Try to think of what might be the reason why that somebody did it to us.

Reflect!

When I think of the fights I had with my mother when I was younger, I wince. Maybe it was her fault being talkative because hello? She can always choose to reprimand me in a nicer way. But it was my fault that she talks too much in the first place. If I just do the chores properly, or if I just wake up in the morning before breakfast instead of before lunch, maybe my mother wouldn’t have been as talkative as she was.

It wasn’t her fault, it was mine. But that time, I was so annoyed and too mad because of her reprimands, I couldn’t see my own faults. I was focusing on hers.

We often heard that famous break up line: It’s not you, it’s me.

I wonder what will happen if we use that line most often rather than just using it when breaking up. What if every time we’re in disagreement with somebody, we tell that line to ourselves first?

What if, indeed, it was our fault, and not theirs? I wonder how many relationship are restored. I wonder how many friends will still be friends? How many lovers would still be lovers? How many families would’ve been still intact?

I’m not saying we should blame ourselves, I’m saying that we stop blaming others for everything. By reflecting on what happens, we get to know ourselves more. And by that, we’ll be more motivated to change ourselves for the better, not only for our sake, but for the sake of our relationships.

This is true to my relationship with God too. Most of the times, it seems like God doesn’t hear my prayers because most of my prayers were unanswered. It pains me to think that he hears all my supplications and yet do nothing. The thing is, I do believe that God is almighty so He is capable of everything. There’s no prayer that he can’t grant.

So why he doesn’t answer all my prayers? I used to get mad at him because of that. But now, I use this principle. Maybe I’m doing something that isn’t according to his will. And whenever I reflect on my actions and intentions, especially intentions, I learn that it is indeed my fault. Believe me, I am a changed and better person now because of this?

Why?

Because I learned about myself more. And the best way to reach one’s highest potential is knowing oneself well.

Next time, think twice(or more) before putting the blame on the pen, maybe it’s the paper’s.

 

Reflecting,

Lili Marcus  🙂

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How To Fall In Love by Cecelia Ahern: A Review

How to Fall in LoveHow to Fall in Love by Cecelia Ahern
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I’ve been reading Ahern’s works since forever and I love her novels because they’re all heartwarming and easy reads. This one isn’t different from all her works. I enjoyed it as much as I did with the others.

The heroine, CHRISTINE is obviously has some issues. Her obsessions with Self-help books shows that she isn’t happy or contented with her life. And more importantly she needs help. She is looking for something(not gonna tell you what). But when she accidentally witnessed a guy who committed a suicide, she became more aware of her self-her problems and the things that she must do. One of those things is to get out of her marriage.

But her husband just can’t get over their sudden separation and kept on pestering her. Christine’s life took a little turn when she, once again, witnessed another guy,ADAM, trying to kill himself. Not wanting to commit the same mistake she did with the previous suicidal guy, she did everything to convince the guy not to do it.

She succeeded and since that day, Adam and Christine were inseparable. Christine, with the help of her self-help books, teaches Adam to love life again, including getting back his ex. And Adam, he still has his issues. He’s depressed but little by little, his improvement is obvious and I remember being glad the way he boomed in the story.

My only slight problem is that I wish the book is longer and I want a more-definite ending. I want to see Adam really into counselling with a real Psychologist. I want to see both of them being sweet to each other because they’re lovers already. It was a happy ending but I want a longer version of the story.

I read this one as I was having a break from writing and it turned out I picked the right book. I needed an easy, loving, heartwarming story. This one is all of those. Though it talks about suicide, it is still an easy read. Not depressing at all.

Thumbs up for Ahern.:) 🙂 🙂

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Spilled Coffee

liliswordyplanet

What do we do when we spilled our coffee?

I know, it should be spilled milk. But I don’t drink milk so I’m just gonna go with coffee since it has been my companion since I was a little kid. And I am too familiar with coffee stain and it has, somehow, got to do with what I’m going to share.

Spilled coffee and stains. (Haven’t heard of milk stain anyway.)

We all make mistakes, don’t we? We’ve been done wrong by others, haven’t we? But whether it’s our fault or not isn’t the issue I’m going to stress here. Intentional or not, who cares? Instead, let me ask you what you do when you make mistakes?

I often hear that we can identify one’s maturity through his/her decisions. I’m sorry but I disagree. Our maturity shows not on the decisions we make but on how we deal with the…

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Slow Down

Life is a race, I was told. So naturally, I have to run. Not just to win but at least, to stay in the race. And I’m still in the race. The thing is, I wish that the one who told me life is a race, could’ve been more specific. Because if life indeed is a race, then it’s one hell of a race.

And slowing down seems to be a bad idea.

The thing is, running is exhausting. Running always left me out of breath, heart beating so frantically fast, knees and almost every part of my body is aching, and of course sweating. In short, instead of celebrating because I reached the finish line, I am busy keeping my heartbeat back to normal again. I am busy massaging my legs so they wouldn’t bruise. I am busy wiping my sweaty body. I am sore.

Life, when we ‘re done with it, shouldn’t we be dancing with joy?  Or singing at the top of our lungs? Or maybe screaming like crazy? We just won this long race called life, we should be enjoying.

Sure, runners who won running competitions were overjoyed. But with life, we’re not talking of 5K marathon, or even 10K. Not even longer than that. Life is much longer and more complicated than any other races. Running will help us winning this race but running isn’t everything that there is that we should do. And we shouldn’t be just thinking about the finish line.

Here’s what I think. In life, if we want to win with joy, we should think about the starting line as much as we think about the finish line. And I don’t know about you, but when I think of starting line, I think about my home.

Home is the best place on earth, don’t you agree? But it is also one of the places we most often disregard.

Why? Because we focus in getting to finish line.

What we don’t realize is home is where real happiness resides. It’s where everything starts anyway. It’s where we start dreaming. Most often, it is also the reason why we dream in the first place.

I must share that I’m totally in love with Ed Sheeran’s new single Castle Hill. In which he talks about his hometown and his good old days there. He can’t wait to go home and even wants to go back to the times, for him, were special.

So here’s what I thought: we can never go back time but we can always look back. Visit. Let’s pay a visit to our starting lines, once in a while. We don’t have to start all over again, we just have to remind ourselves why and how we started. Just as sometimes, reminiscing is enough to remind us what truly matter in life. But we can’t do that if we’re running and exhausted.

I suggest, we occasionally slow down and check if we are still who we were and have what we had at the starting lines. Once we do that, our finish lines would be more of a celebration rather than time for restoration and cleaning up our messy selves.

We would celebrate winning if we know what we are fighting for. Right?

Like a traveller who’s too excited to get to his destination, he forgets his house keys. So how is he gonna get in when he comes home? We’re like that too, we’re too excited to succeed in life, we often forget the keys to happiness. Love? Family? God?

Like a turtle that carries his home with him wherever he goes, let’s carry our most treasured belongings too-our loved-ones. Because life isn’t all that enjoyable if it’s just for ourselves.

Thank you for reading. Slow down a bit and think about why you’re even in this race called life.

Slowing down a bit,

LILI