Pause

Writing is one of the most tiring profession in the world. Others think once we have the ‘idea’ of what to write, putting it into words would be just as easy as putting a dough in an oven. The truth is, like baking, writing involves several steps before a story is cooked. And worse, not all stories baked are good enough for the taste buds of the readers. So in other words, writing is not at all easy. It’s tiring, even to those who’ve been writing since childhood.

Almost a couple of years ago, I’ve just begun focusing on writing, a friend of mine asked me what I do when I get tired of it. I said, I write. No kidding, when I get tired of writing, I still write. Because writing, much as it is my job, is also my hobby. It’s what makes me happy.

But if someone asks me now the same question, I’d have a different answer. Writing is still my job and hobby. It is still what makes me happy. But almost two long tiring exhausting years have passed. And okay there have been good times for me as a writer. Like I have submitted ten novellas (in Filipino), only two of which were returned as underdeveloped stories. That was success, mind you.

But most of the times, I forgot those successes and dwell on my failures. There are countless WIPs (Work in Progress) in my laptops’ hard drive. I have plenty of unfinished manuscripts I just can’t finish because of few reasons. But to sum it all, I get tired. I get tired of writing, of plotting, of revising or of the story itself.

What do I do now when I get tired? I pause.

In the past couple of years, I’ve been told(advised) plenty of things. Get a proper job that actually pays, get a degree, go socialize more, get yourself a boyfriend, get laid. I think if I would put all their advises into one sentence, it would be this: Stop writing.

They’re concern about me but they don’t don’t know everything. They think they know because of what they see in me, but they don’t know the half. Writing is my life. And if people think that I would stop just because I get tired of it, and nothing seems happening, they’re mistaken.

In life, we don’t stop just because we’re tired. See, why employees, even students have coffee breaks, lunch breaks, snack breaks, month leave and every other rest I don’t know about. They’re not stopping, they’re just having breaks. They can always resume what they’re doing after taking some rest.

We also don’t stop just because nothing is happening. Patience is a virtue, an old saying yet still true even to these days. Those who wait will be rewarded. There is a time for everything. Farmers wait three or more months before their harvest.

Life, as I said  in my post Slow Down, is not just a race, it’s one hell of a race.It is indeed exhausting. So slowing down a bit once in a while is a great idea. But there are just moments that we can’t run anymore. We can’t even walk, we’re numbed. We feel emptied physically and emotionally.

It feels like we’re out of batteries. When moments like these come, a discharge in whatever we’re doing seems like a good idea, but what we don’t realize, what we need is just a recharge. Withdrawal from our dreams isn’t the solution. Renewal is.

Whenever I get tired, I pause. It’s better than stopping. Stopping is no coming back, pause gives me a chance to be renewed and feels great and capable again for whatever I’m doing.

I encourage everyone not to quit, just pause. Sleep, eat, pray, meditate-it’s your choice. Do whatever it is that makes you filled with new energy, enthusiasm and knowledge that you can use when you feel going back to running again.

Whenever we start a certain race, we’re establishing our finish lines at the same time, though we don’t see them yet. Our finish lines are waiting for us so why stop? We’ve come this far anyway.

You’re almost done reading this..

Taking a pause,

Lili

Now ready to resume the race……………

 

 

 

 

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Slow Down

Life is a race, I was told. So naturally, I have to run. Not just to win but at least, to stay in the race. And I’m still in the race. The thing is, I wish that the one who told me life is a race, could’ve been more specific. Because if life indeed is a race, then it’s one hell of a race.

And slowing down seems to be a bad idea.

The thing is, running is exhausting. Running always left me out of breath, heart beating so frantically fast, knees and almost every part of my body is aching, and of course sweating. In short, instead of celebrating because I reached the finish line, I am busy keeping my heartbeat back to normal again. I am busy massaging my legs so they wouldn’t bruise. I am busy wiping my sweaty body. I am sore.

Life, when we ‘re done with it, shouldn’t we be dancing with joy?  Or singing at the top of our lungs? Or maybe screaming like crazy? We just won this long race called life, we should be enjoying.

Sure, runners who won running competitions were overjoyed. But with life, we’re not talking of 5K marathon, or even 10K. Not even longer than that. Life is much longer and more complicated than any other races. Running will help us winning this race but running isn’t everything that there is that we should do. And we shouldn’t be just thinking about the finish line.

Here’s what I think. In life, if we want to win with joy, we should think about the starting line as much as we think about the finish line. And I don’t know about you, but when I think of starting line, I think about my home.

Home is the best place on earth, don’t you agree? But it is also one of the places we most often disregard.

Why? Because we focus in getting to finish line.

What we don’t realize is home is where real happiness resides. It’s where everything starts anyway. It’s where we start dreaming. Most often, it is also the reason why we dream in the first place.

I must share that I’m totally in love with Ed Sheeran’s new single Castle Hill. In which he talks about his hometown and his good old days there. He can’t wait to go home and even wants to go back to the times, for him, were special.

So here’s what I thought: we can never go back time but we can always look back. Visit. Let’s pay a visit to our starting lines, once in a while. We don’t have to start all over again, we just have to remind ourselves why and how we started. Just as sometimes, reminiscing is enough to remind us what truly matter in life. But we can’t do that if we’re running and exhausted.

I suggest, we occasionally slow down and check if we are still who we were and have what we had at the starting lines. Once we do that, our finish lines would be more of a celebration rather than time for restoration and cleaning up our messy selves.

We would celebrate winning if we know what we are fighting for. Right?

Like a traveller who’s too excited to get to his destination, he forgets his house keys. So how is he gonna get in when he comes home? We’re like that too, we’re too excited to succeed in life, we often forget the keys to happiness. Love? Family? God?

Like a turtle that carries his home with him wherever he goes, let’s carry our most treasured belongings too-our loved-ones. Because life isn’t all that enjoyable if it’s just for ourselves.

Thank you for reading. Slow down a bit and think about why you’re even in this race called life.

Slowing down a bit,

LILI